No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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