There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
