My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
