I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
