she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
