When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm both gender and math confused
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
