Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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