i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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