There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
