Is it because I queefed?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
as a side note pls kill me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
