And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
