I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
