would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
