Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
