Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
