I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
