I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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