At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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