next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
