I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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