She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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