He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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