So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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