no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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