You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
