I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
too bad you live with your parents still
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
