That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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