So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
