i think my tv is drunk
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize