isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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