i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
