he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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