im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
