The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
