Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Floor bacon is actually really good
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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