So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
