That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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