i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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