She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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