and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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