I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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