he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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