she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
