How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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