That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize