Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
