Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize