OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
