I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
