so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
