you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
