we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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