I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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