Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
