Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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