i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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