Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He did a backflip because drugs
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
