i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
