this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
