Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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