And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
