I hate your face
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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